Moving Forward -

Well, it is now exactly a week since I posted the news of Micah and my breakup - a week since Micah made the final decision to leave and not be married to me anymore.

It has been a torementing week for me. I had promised myself to this man for the rest of my life - you who have been faithful readers know what I felt and said - that I love this man and that I wanted nothing more in life than to be with him.

And he is gone - this is painful.

But everyone needs to move on - myself included. The quesiton is how?

There are wounds which never heal, and there are scars which never disappear completely. We learn to live with them and we muddle on through our lives until something new comes along - but the scars and the wounds remain.

I wouldn't want to leave my last post to you, my readers, without you knowing that this is a period of great pain - after all, I have shared with you many many periods and moments of great joy. What kinds of friends would you be if I didn't share with you the pains.

So I want to thanks my good friends who have helped me to carry on through this first week - and I want to thank them each individually and all together.

My brother Mak and my brother-in-law Simon
My best friend Esmiel and my wonderful friend and his partner Nicho
My good friend Masahiro
My good friends Jamie and Celty
My SL Mom - Kat
My good friends from Alter Ego- Jay and Other Micah
and my new friend Ami who, for some reason, seems taken with me.

I can say this - these events are hard. It it hard to go from being told every day that you are the most desireable man in the world to total silence. I suppose there is no good way to end this post but to say

Thanks to all who have helped me through this - I am not done yet though. I feel emotions rise and fall and I don't remember buying a ticket on the roller coaster. I don't even like roller coasters. I hate roller coasters - they make me want to throw up ROFL.

I feel strange - like I got screwed but didn't have any fun. I suppose everyone feels this way sometimes.

I advise everyone to listen to REM- Everybody Hurts Sometimes.

It is my song for today - perhaps for a while.

Ok- enough self pity.

If anyone has the timetable for the moving on train - please send it to me. LOL

Thanks.

(signed) the rock star formerly known as gabe - ROTFL