more about alts

Well I said it would be a complicated topic and start a conversation - and I think it has. Esmie raised a wonderfully good point - and now we are faced with the quesiton of how far we go to limit freedom of expression if at all.

Let's take a look as some of the issues -

The US and Europe have very different takes on Freedom of Speech. If you go to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam (and if you haven't and have been to Amsterdam you should be ashamed of yourself and if you haven't been to Amsterdam you should think about how you could get to go) (RL Amsterdam ROTFL) you will have seen the room where they raise these questions through a series of videos - to limit speech to protect a minority or to allow freedom of speech. The US consititution is very clear - except for speech which incites riot or which causes harm directly people can say what they want. After all, who will decide what is ok? And if your team decides today, who knows what team or party will be in power tomorrow - perhaps one that hates you.

On the other hand the EU is very clear - speech which demeans a group of people is illegal.

So - what to do with Alts. Are they Free Speech - or are they individuals who are engaging in acts which have consequences.

Interesting - it depends on whether or not you think SL is a game.

Esmie and I have talked and we agree - SL is NOT a GAME. It is real people having real relationships with other Real People.

Well - then - what does this mean? It means that when I do something in SL to you - I have to be as accountable as I am in RL for the consequences of my actions. And if I harm you - hurt you - then I have to be accountable for that. And to whom am I accountable - well - that's another thorny problem. Certainly to my community, whatever that may be, and to you, and to myself. SL is resident created - and LL puts very little limitation on speech and activity. So it is up to us.

Now we don't want to spend a lot of time developing rules and laws. It wouldn't be right - that's not who comes here - constitutionlists for the most part. So how to see this. It is a problem.

The famous German philosopher and educator and architect and artist Rudoph Steiner said it well I think in what he termed the Fundamental Social Law - which is :

‘The well-being of a community of people working together will be the greater, the less the individual claims for himself the proceeds of his work, i.e. the more of these proceeds he makes over to his fellow-workers, the more his own needs are satisfied, not out of his own work but out of the work done by others’.

So what do we do to implement this if we want to. Well we could interpret it as follows:

The well being of a group of people is improved the more each person works for the happiness and well being of each of his fellows and allows them to work for his.

Esmie also raised the question - "What is Sexy?" in his blog. So let's look at that also - what is sexy sex or what is sexy love making?

Well - hmm - same thing. If you are about your own pleasure then what are you really doing - it has a name and begins with M although in slang in the US it begins with J and in England with a W. ROTFL. If you are concentrating on your own pleasure - well - that's what is happening. Good love making- in my opinion - that is SEXY - is all about the other person. I don't have to concentrate on me at all - if I concentrate on you - and you concentrate on me - that is making love. The rest is well, jack-o-wanking - a new term i just made up on the spot.

How many of us had the experience of having sex with someone in SL who was all about his own xcite bits, or his own timing, or his own pleasure. What a bore. But when I am with someone who emotes, and concentrates on me - well - then I feel them, taste them, touch them - sense them - and when it finally happens for me because of them doing the same - well - -that's sexy.

So it seems to be true in everything - it isn't about what I need - it is about what you need. If I am on the case of what you need, and you on the case of what I need, and all of us on the case of what each of the others needs - well - a community of real caring forms.

Against this we can look at the intention of creating an Alt - and how it affects all the people around us. Is it created for selfish reasons? How does it help my family and friends?

What do you all think?

On Alts, Griefing and Nastiness in general

SL is a wonderful place but it has its rotten side. Alts are one of the most rotten of the rotten.

By virtue of the way that Linden Labs has set up account creation alts are a part of SL. There is a provision that prevents making more than three accounts from any single IP address but that is crap. Almost all residential users of SL have dynamic IP addresses - so their IP address changes all the time. Thus it is possible to set up as many accounts as a person wants - both paid premium accounts and free basic accounts.

What does this mean? It means trouble - big trouble. Why? Because it means that although you are the same person at the keyboard side of the computer, you can be many people on the SL side of the machine. Which means you can escape accountablility for your actions. Nasty - Nasty - Nasty.

I am going to make a number of posts about this - I think it is extremely important. But let's look first at some of the implicaitons. You can try on all kinds of things that your friends would find reprehensible, without them knowing it is you. Think of the most effective disguises-Alts are better. You can be a compassionate healer in one avi and a serial murder in another - and your friends in either know nothing of your other life.

This sucks.

You can lie, steal, and decieve, and you can't be held accountable. This sucks.

You can create free accounts and grief, threaten and be unfaithful. And in one avi you can condemn yourself in the other avi. How bizzare.

Nicho was hanging with me at home while Esmie was away and we were griefed - two of the ugliest avi's I have ever seen came and threatened him with sexual assault. They were basic accounts - anyone could create them in a few minutes. I filed an abuse report, but there is no way to know who they were or how many accounts they had. You can ban one alt and two more can be created in five minutes. Sucks Sucks Sucks

Are there good uses for alts? perhaps, but not if they can not be linked to their primary avi's. Sorry that is my opinion - I know others disagree. But for me SL is a way to communicate - so YOU whoever you are must be true to YOU. Communicate - not deceive. And that means you are who you are - and your avi has to own up to it.

There has to be accountability in life - otherwise there is no ethical standard against which to live.

So sorry - I think it is wrong. I know people who have avi's they use to work things out - and it gives me pain each time i see them. I want to see my friends for who they are. If I can't acccept all of what they are in one Avi - then I am not much of a friend. And if they can't show me all of who they are in one Avi - then they are not much of a friend.

Argue with me - I will look forward to it. Until then I wish Linden Labs would find a way to stop multiple avi creation. It sucks.

Moving Forward -

Well, it is now exactly a week since I posted the news of Micah and my breakup - a week since Micah made the final decision to leave and not be married to me anymore.

It has been a torementing week for me. I had promised myself to this man for the rest of my life - you who have been faithful readers know what I felt and said - that I love this man and that I wanted nothing more in life than to be with him.

And he is gone - this is painful.

But everyone needs to move on - myself included. The quesiton is how?

There are wounds which never heal, and there are scars which never disappear completely. We learn to live with them and we muddle on through our lives until something new comes along - but the scars and the wounds remain.

I wouldn't want to leave my last post to you, my readers, without you knowing that this is a period of great pain - after all, I have shared with you many many periods and moments of great joy. What kinds of friends would you be if I didn't share with you the pains.

So I want to thanks my good friends who have helped me to carry on through this first week - and I want to thank them each individually and all together.

My brother Mak and my brother-in-law Simon
My best friend Esmiel and my wonderful friend and his partner Nicho
My good friend Masahiro
My good friends Jamie and Celty
My SL Mom - Kat
My good friends from Alter Ego- Jay and Other Micah
and my new friend Ami who, for some reason, seems taken with me.

I can say this - these events are hard. It it hard to go from being told every day that you are the most desireable man in the world to total silence. I suppose there is no good way to end this post but to say

Thanks to all who have helped me through this - I am not done yet though. I feel emotions rise and fall and I don't remember buying a ticket on the roller coaster. I don't even like roller coasters. I hate roller coasters - they make me want to throw up ROFL.

I feel strange - like I got screwed but didn't have any fun. I suppose everyone feels this way sometimes.

I advise everyone to listen to REM- Everybody Hurts Sometimes.

It is my song for today - perhaps for a while.

Ok- enough self pity.

If anyone has the timetable for the moving on train - please send it to me. LOL

Thanks.

(signed) the rock star formerly known as gabe - ROTFL

A Notice of Major Personal Importance to Me and Micah - Please Read

To all my faithful readers:

For a number of months now I have been writing about my marriage to my husband, Micah Michinaga, and the wonderful relationship we have experienced together.

Micah and I have been together for almost 8 months. We met at Christmas last year, and began to live together in January, and were married in May. We have been through good times and tough times, through sickness and health.

It has been a wonderful and loving time. Now, however, it must change.

On Monday, July 23, 2007 Micah and his long-time partner (actually high school sweetheart) Eric were joined together as Civil Domestic Partners as part of the first group to be so joined in the State of Washington. They stood with hundreds of gay couples and pledged their faithfulness and troth to each other.

Micah and Eric are now married. I have known Eric since Micah and I were married, and I love him. He makes my puppy very happy, and that makes him aces in my book. But Micah’s marriage to Eric changes everything.

Micah's and my marriage in Second Life was a little unusual. It was extraordinarily intense and filled with commitment and loving interaction. It was said on many occasions by our friends that we were inseparable, and that we had something magical and unusual. But that now has to belong only to Micah and Eric – it cannot be divided up and have it make any sense.

With great happiness and with great sadness I have to announce that Micah and I will be moving on to go our separate ways. We remain friends – great friends, and I will always love and care for and about Micah and he for me. But the pledge of fidelity and exclusivity that we have in our marriage belongs now only with Eric for Micah and so I must move along. And so must Micah and so must our marriage and our relationship.

Micah and Eric went on a three week honeymoon to Greece where they ate and danced and drank wine and made love in ancient cities. They return committed completely to each other with plans for a formal marriage ceremony in December near the Christmas Holidays. And so they are saying goodbye to those relationships that they had before and clearing the way for a new life together now. And while Micah and I changed each other’s lives in wonderful ways over the past 8 months, it is time for that itself to change.

So join me as I raise a glass of champagne and toast to Micah and Eric and wish them happiness and joy and a long and wonderful marriage. Join with me in dancing in celebration of their love. Wherever you are – raise your glass and your voice to say Congratulations to them.

For myself, there are also many changes. I will write about them in due course but this post is about Micah and Eric.

Micah – I love you puppy – I am glad you accepted my Santa Hat those many months ago and I am glad you shared my Second Life and let me share yours for so long. I celebrate all we have meant to each other and how much we have helped each other to grow and change along the way.

Now and forever Micah I am your friend and am for you. And now I must add, I am for you and Eric.

Be well – grow strong together – never forget – Love does not falter – it does not turn its face away – it does not shy away from the hard tasks and the difficult places. Every day and in every moment – support each other and remember - it is your love that brings you together – and it is your love which will carry you always.

I love you both.

Esmie did post to his blog

Ok, Esmie did have time to post to his blog. I didn't see it before. But I am leaving mine up. I like it.

Gabe waves at everyone.

Esmie went off to London

Esmie went off to London - he wanted to put a post on his blog but he went off to the bus and I don't think he had time. His folks' PC is not working so he may not be able to blog or log into SL or communicate very well with his friends so he asked me to let everyone know.

He isn't sure when he is coming back - he left his return ticket open - because - well - Alfie is really missing him and anxious to see him. And Esmie is missing Alfie and really anxious to see him. So - both of them are missing each other and want to see each other and- after all - isn't that the best way?

I could write a whole lot more about Esmie and Alfie - they have the most wonderful relationship - caring and loving one to the other - taking care of each other - it is wonderful to see. But I will make that a special post - this is about how Esmie won't be around SL for a while.

Have fun in London Esmie - enjoy being back home (Esmie grew up in London - that's why his parents are there - LOL). Have fun with Esmie Alfie - (Alfie grew up in London too - that's where they met in HS - DUH!!!)

(Alfie isn't Alfie's real name by the way - a long time ago I said to Esmie - "I can't keep saying 'your real life boy friend,' it is way too long to say - how about we give him a name?" We settled on "Alfie" and it stuck. So Alfie - consider a legal name change ROTFL!)

Anyway - Esmie left about 3 and 1/2 hours ago for the bus. I hope he made it and is now on the bus and has his pillow and is comfortably curled up next to the window and has a nice person sitting next to him.

If you want to get any messages to Esmie send them to me. He is going to email me from London and I am going to email him - so I will pass along any messages you want to send (if they are polite - if they aren't polite you can expect me to spit at you LOL).

Have a great time Esmie and Alfie - do fun things in London - eat good food - and relax and cuddle and ... well... that's all for now folks. :)

Respectfully submitted by Gabe for his best pal - Esmie

here are some pics of me and Esmie chatting in the treehouse

Well - I seem to be into putting up pictures - here is a group from a chat Esmie and I had last weekend. I love talking with Esmie - he is kind and good and a wonderful listener and he always has good advice to give.

and while we are at it - here are pics of Jamie and Celty

I told you about Jamie and Celty - they are good firends of mine. They have been with me through a lot and I hope to say we will be together for a long time to come.

Here are some pictures of them. They are grand.

OK - Correction - Mak isn't leaving on Friday Esmie is though

Ok, I was wrong. Mak is not leaving on Friday - Esmie is - but Mak is leaving on Wednesday next.

And - Simon is locked out of SL because his cable connection is down.

I am sure this has been fascinating for everyone. So here is a nice pic to make this post worthwhile.

And yes, in case you didn't notice - that is - once again - my butt.

ROTFL

Scuba Diving with Esmie

First off - check out Esmie's Blog for more about scuba diving - we went this morning and it was awsome and so much fun. We found the most amazing SIM - Italian with an underwater volcano and all kinds of fish and wildlife - and - a galleon - a beautiful ship with all kinds of things to do - private rooms - and more.

Esmie was captured by pirates and chained to the mast - I had to free him - and while I did it they captured me and he had to free me. But we got away and went on to explore. We escaped a giant squid and the dangers of the volcano - you'll see -

Here are some pictures of me and Esmie in the water - exploring. For some reason the scuba stuff took my hair off - so only the last picture has my regular hair. I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we liked taking them.

Thanks Esmie - it was awsome fun.
(Waving at Esmie)

Scuba Diving

Jamie and Celty and Canterbury took me scuba diving off Boots' Mission Beach - oh my - what an experience. I haven't had this much fun in SL for a long time - well... but ok.

Jamie got me the outfit, that was so nice of him.Celty also got me a gaming HUD for the game Tiny Empires that Esmie was talking about - but I don't know if I will be able to work it all out. I suck at those things. Jamie and Celty are great pals and I can't tell you how many scrapes they have gotten me out of. Jamie will never let a friend down, and Celty can fix anything - no matter what it is. I love them to bits.

I was so jazzed by the scuba diving that I immediately got sets for Mak and Simon and Esmie so we can go. I'll get one for Micah when he gets back - he has been away on holiday in Italy.
Boots had put all kinds of salvage on the ocean bottom off the beach - ships and things - so scuba diving was awsome.

Sorry I didn't take pictures- I was too jazzed. When we all go back I'll take a bunch.
Cheers (more England English). Hehe

Mak is going to California and beyond and Esmie is going to London

Well - Mak is only going for a holiday - he is going to visit his sister.
He is going to have a great time - I am sure - they are going to drive up through Northern California and stay wherever they can - camp out or find motels and hotels. He will relax - it will be so different from London.

But - I will miss him. No Mak? Not possible. Who is going to say "Hi Angel" to me in the morning and to whom am I going to say "Hi Muffin"? And give a goodmorning kiss on his nose?

Now what else - Esmie is also going away. He is going to London to see his BF!!! Now who is going to say "Hi Gabie" to me when I log in - and hug me and give me a hello kiss????

They both leave on Friday.

But, Whew!!!!! - Simon will be here -so we'll be good - Simon and I. We will have each other. We are both going to miss Mak and I am going to miss Esmie too (Simon will too - he loves Esmie but I see Esmie every day). Simon will continue to teach me to speak English (as in England) - I am practicing because I am going to move there some day. (Well I would like to - all my best friends (all my best mates - sorry) are in England (excpet Esmie but he comes from London and is now in Scotland - so - same island). I have to learn to speak like a native.

And, Simon is teaching me to speak Welsh too. Amazing - do you know how to say I am going to bed in Welsh - "I am going to my gwelly". I love Welsh.

Oh well - Mak will be on IM from California and Esmie always finds a way to log in from London so it won't be too terrible. But I'll miss you - I'll miss you both so much.

Have a great time guys. Send me a postcard and some pics.

OK - Here is a real problem

Well, you may not think it is a problem but - maybe it is - who knows.



Esmie is - if you have been reading my blog and his you know this - my best mate. Along with my brother Mak and my brother (in-law) Simon and Steph - not counting my husband Micah of course -Esmie is my closest family - my friend - always there for me - and I for him.



Now Esmie is getting into a game - a RP game in SL called Tiny Empires.



So what is the problem? Well - I am not a gamer. (whew - major confession there for me). I don't even own a gaming system - no X-box, no PS2, no gameboy- no nothing. I am not a gamer. Never owned one.



And my best friends are all going to be involved in this game. Esmie is getting into it with Jamie and Celty who are my great pals, and they will be all wrapped up in it 24/7 - you can be sure.

What the F do I do? I could try to play but i would embarass myself and them - trust me - I suck at it big time. So they are going to be lost in the game - I am going to be a football widow.



I think I had better try to learn to play - but I am going to need a lot of help guys. I really do suck at it - and I have no patience.



Oh dear - see - its a problem.


Anyone have any advice? I should get a hobby - do they do quilting in SL? ROTFL

Esmie - I'll play - I'll be your peasant - but I don't know if I can figure out how to get gold for you. How about if I sing and am the court Bard. Would you take care of me then?

:)

The Situation Gets Out Of Hand

Please - before you read this or after you read it or whatever- read Esmie's blog - which is linked in my profile on the right. He has already posted about this and what he says is right on the money - as always. See Esmie's post - "This is getting out of control!!" on August 4. (Gabe gives Esmie a big smile and a kiss.)

Voice is a wonderful thing - and of course SL has to roll it out - new technology is always important. But there are places where Voice Chat causes people to feel left out, and there Voice should not be the norm.

There are lots of reasons why people might not want to do Voice - perhaps, as has happened, some people are hearing impaired, and listening to voice is not possible for them or confusing. They are then not part of conversations which are taking place, and that is wrong.

Perhaps someone doesn't speak English very well, or understand spoken English, but does well with written English understanding and the time to type something that conveys their meaning.

Perhaps someone just doesn't want to cross the RL/SL barrier and wants to be able to continue to chat as we always have.

There are dozens of reasons.

The bottom line is that some places need to be places for everyone to be equal - and Boots' Beach is and was one. And there is no one - not a single one of the people that Esmie talks about - who doesn't owe at least a part of his life - his SL - to Boots and Shawn.

Who was there when you were a Newbie - Boots and Shawn and the Bums. Who was there when you broke up your first SL relationship - Boots and Shawn and the Bums. Who was there when you needed to know how to buy land, or rent a house, or fly, or rez an object - Boots and Shawn and the Bums.

But - the glittering crowd has no memory for relationships - they have only the pleasure of their immediate moment in the sun - in the spotlight.

Sorry guys, your voices aren't so sweet that they make me cum when I hear them. And your comments to my friends are so nasty and repulsive that I don't know what to say.

There are ways to make a point, and there are ways not to make a point.

You chose to get on the wrong bus. Your points were made in an abusive way - you have no right to tell Boots and Shawn what to do on their own land or to say nasty things to our friends.

You want to go off and do your thing - do it quietly. Not abusively. You have said things - not all of you but many of you - that have hurt people I love. That's not ok.

Do you owe the Bums an apology. You Bet!!

Will you offer it - who knows.

Is the beach suffering because you left (some people actually told Boots and Shawn that their departure would destroy the beach) - not a bit.

It- the beach - is like it used to be - quiet and comfortable and a fun place for old friends to welcome newcomers.

Sorry guys - I am afraid I don't think you chose well - I don't think you acted responsibly or nicely - and in the end - that is a shame.

Isn't there enough of this "In Crowd" vs "Out Crowd" in RL? Did we really need to import it into SL? Is that what we are paying monthly access and tier for - for this crap?

To all my friends at Boots - to Boots and Shawn and the Bums - all of you

smoooooooooochhhhhhhh

My God - it has been a long time

Well - it's been a long time since I made a post to this blog. A lot has happened in the interim, and I have been working through a number of personal things - so I haven't said anything here. Sorry guys.

And I actually am not saying anything now - rotfl.

I will soon, but I am still trying to figure out a few thorny things I need to figure out - and decide what to do about a couple of things. When I figure them out I either will or won't put them here - well - that's life.

So instead, here are some pictures. I thought you might like them.

Love to all,

Gabe

Yes - these are shameless pictures of my butt.

ROTFL.

As I said - I am working through a few things - these are place holders until I come back.