Thursday, September 13, 2007

Ok, so here's the truth

Ok, So here's the truth - sometimes love hurts. Sometimes it hurts a little bit, and sometimes it hurts a whole lot. In any life - Real or Virtual, First or Second, call it what you will - it doesn't make any difference in the end. We are who we are, and when we love, sometimes it hurts.

Sometimes the hurt is because the people we love are hurting - or were hurt - and we can't stand not being able to fix it. Sometimes the hurt is because we can't contain the love we feel, and it spills out over us and our emotions run away with us. Sometimes it is because things don't work out, and the pain of separation is unbearable. But - sometimes it hurts.

The antidote for that pain and hurt must be here - we just need to find it. And the antidote has to be - forgiving. It is the Jewish New Year now - Rosh Hashana - and the "10 Days of Awe" end with Yom Kippur - the Holy Day of Atonement - and the end of the atonement is - Forgiveness. I am a Catholic - which means that actually I am Jewish - think about it - Jesus was, umm, exactly what religion again - oh yeah - Jewish. He was called Rabbi - oh yeah, remember?

In Yom Kippur the community - the whole people beg for forgiveness, and as a part of that process all debts must be forgiven first, all imagined wrongs done to us forgiven. Jesus taught that - good Rabbi that he was - remember -?? -"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Sound familiar?

Not - I'll forgive if you forgive - no bargains. Not I'll forgive if I can figure out what I was pissed about in the first place and justify it. Nope - much simpler - let it go. Just let it go. I have to let it go if I want to find forgiveness for myself - if I want you to love me, I have to love you. If I want you to forgive me, I have to forgive you. I can't start it with "you" - it has to start with "I", "me", I have to start. And if you don't forgive me, I still must forgive you, it is all I can do.

What a season - 9/11, Yom Kippur - what a time.

I once wrote a blog piece about "sometimes we don't tell the people we love that we love them often enough". It is still here in the blog somewhere - you can search for it.

There is only one cure for what ails the world - the simple statement - "I love you. I forgive you. I love you."

Try it. It might feel good, and stop the hurt.

Happy New Year 5768 everyone.


Esmiel said...

Gabie - tell me how you manage to write in such a powerful, direct and meaningful way! Your posts touch me like nothing else I have ever read. You even made this one educational. But I forgive you :)

Kaj said...

Gabe---another wonderfully written post, with lots to think about. You're right, forgiveness must be given before it can be taken. It can be really difficult to do. The world is set up more for "I'm right, you're wrong, get over it". A great teacher one time said "Love your neighbor as yourself". It's too bad the world is more "Revenge is a dish best served cold". To actually forgive someone takes effort, it takes time and patience. It's so easy to focus on how you believed you were wronged, to get caught up in all that self centered, self serving behavior. The actual act of forgiveness, I believe, can be devine. When you do let it go it is such a freeing experience. Someone much wiser than me one time told me "Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies" or "Resentment is allowing another person to live rent free in your head". When you resent someone, you think about them a lot...wishing them the worst. It can ruin your day. But think about it....that person could be out dancing, eating lobster or getting laid and you're the one who's pissed off. Who's actually winning there? They are. It's in all of our best interests to, well as you said, let it go! Thanks again Gabe for your post. Hope to see you at Boots or Alter Ego one of these days again soon. *hugs*

Robin @ Heart of Wisdom said...

Yes, what a season, what a time. Well said.